What To Expect From Therapy:
Therapy can take on many forms depending on your needs and goals. Sometimes all people need is a safe and affirming space to explore their thoughts, feelings, experiences and relationships.
Other times, people benefit from a more structured (still collaborative) treatment approach.
I often gravitate to a type of therapy know as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy that helps us develop skills to notice and "sit with" the present moment/circumstances, develop a greater understanding of our unique values, set meaningful goals based on our values and take action towards the type of life we want to live.
“We hurt where we care, and we care where we hurt.”
Dr. Steven C. Hayes, Originator of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)
What Are Your Values?
Your personal values are the things that make life meaningful to you.
Why Understand Your Values?
Many times we can become so caught up in life (the things we are supposed to care about, the things we’re running from) that we lose touch with our unique values.
While it’s important to navigate the concrete realities of life, understanding your values and practicing acceptance and committed action, helps create space to exercise your personal agency and orient your life and actions towards the things that truly give life meaning, regardless of your present circumstances.
Figuring Out Your Values?
The quote above highlights a profound idea:
Understanding our hurt can tell us a lot about what we value.
For example, different people might feel anxiety about a struggling marriage for different reasons based on their unique values.
One person might be worried about experiencing loneliness if they lose their partner/best friend.
This person might hold intimacy and connection as really important values.
Someone else might think primarily about judgement from their friends, family or community.
This person might hold family and social cohesion as top values.
Someone else may be more stressed about the financial implications of a divorce or the impact it would have on their career.
This person maybe cares more about financial stability and/or success.
A person might be most concerned with how their marital difficulties could impact their children.
This person might value their children’s wellbeing above all else.